so I've decided who I want to be........ALIVE!

and yes, I am still sitting in that back office with absolutely no one to talk to AND today we've been without power - from 7:30 am until 5:00 pm.  I work in a computer lab.  Do you know how much goes on in a computer lab when there is no electricity?

random thoughts as i sit in the office...

some reflections on being...not what you do but who you are.  i think so many times i get caught up in what i do instead of who i am...always doing, never being.  i get caught up in not doing what i desire right now when the fact is that if i would be who God has called me to be in the present, life would be so much more full.  God's will is today, where you're at.  not that He doesn't have plans for tomorrow, but don't live there.  (okay, so i'm back in an office answering phones today and there aren't very many calls, yall are just about the only people i've gotten to talk to today - i might get a little excited and not make sense.  so back to who i want to be...)  it reminds me of the switchfoot song  - "this is your life. are you who you want to be?" 

as i process through who i want to be, the pillars of Deshea, who do you want to be?

Currently Reading Unashamed (Lineage of Grace #2) By Francine Rivers see related

So I have been back in school for a week now.  I am pretty excited about all of my classes though they seem to frustrate me to no end.  Sociology is so interesting to me because its all about people.  But the frustrating part comes when you dive into the lives of people or more so into society as a whole and you see all of the injustice and mess that we create for ourselves and for those around us.  Even, especially, in political science which in my mind, though I'm not sure why, would have been farther removed than the other subjects I'm studying.  Did you know that Texas has the 8th biggest economy in the world (yeah that is among countries, not just other states) but we are almost last, 50th out of 51 states when it comes to poverty rates in the US (this is according to my professor, I don't have any cold hard facts) But I mean come on, how can an economy that big, generating so much money, have so many that are below the poverty line? It leaves one feeling overwhelmed, like- God, where do I fit into this picture? I feel so very very small.  How do I take a stand?  So much of the time I look at these questions expecting the LORD to give me an answer about what I'll do when I "grow up"  But the other day it hit me, rather the LORD did, while one of my friends was talking.  He said "God's will for you is in today"  He wasn't meaning that the LORD doesn't have plans for the future, but that today is what your supposed to live, we're not promised tomorrow - run hard today.  It was good for me to hear. I get so caught up in going to school and working and thinking that one day I'll do this or that and I never do anything now, I go through the motions.  May God give me the grace to live in the now.  Thats what I've been thinking about lately. 

I just finished a book by Francine Rivers called UNASHAMED.  It was a really good book.  It is historical fiction on the life of Rahab, the prostitute who hide spies from Israel and was spared when the wall of Jericho fell.  Makes ya think.